I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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