Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i love accidental penises.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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