problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
