I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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