Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
