i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
