Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
