Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
