I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
