i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
