i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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