I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
