My sheets look like a crime scene.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize