I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish i was in the wii world.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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