You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
