wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
