We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
