mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
