I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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