so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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