I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
