I want to stick my p in your. b.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
