Your tits are I can't wait for
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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