Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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