Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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