He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
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you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize