Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
