i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
