Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
