i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
should my penis look like a turkey
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
