Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
