Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
