I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who died my cat blue again?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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