So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
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No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
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I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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