you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
