it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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