Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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