I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
