i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize