Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
