Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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