never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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