My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
