Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
