just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
