As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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