no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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