the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize