I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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