Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
