Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
