I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
only if we run a train.
done.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize