Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
