THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
