ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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