He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
