Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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