isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
