who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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